Saturday, February 11

The Sperminator

Warning: Sperm and bad language ahead!!

When you cum with Sperm@m@x nothing else matters.
With Spermamax one towel won’t be enough to wipe off your sperm.
Spermamax improves your sperm motility.

Okay, WTF? I am sick to death of losers, who can't get a real job, sending me emails with the above content. For starters, who the hell wants to deal with the washing of two or more towels every time you have nooky? Not me!! You have too much spare time on your hands if you are after that sort of clean up job. Point being -LEAVE ME ALONE SPAMMER LOSERS.

Now for the interesting part of the post:

Being one of the 'biggest losers' myself, I have to admit to one and all that I did not end up biking while watching TV. No, I ate dinner instead. Why, because I didn't get home until half and hour before programme, whipped family up dinner while the man sat on his anus trying to download some music and, just as I served up said dinner, said anus sitter-onner had my brother turn up, impromptu apparently, and they departed for the pub. The joy of being a woman.

I have made a decision, one of many: I am going to blog on Wednesday and Saturday - definitely! Any other blogging will be done on a "casual" basis and you will be priviledged beyond belief to have more than two entries a week from the famous MOI!! Reason: as many have said before me, it just gets too time consuming and I need to live it as much as I write it.

Now for a wee tidbit into the brain workings of the fab JULES:

I find it amazing that one little kilo has made my self-perception go mad. I feel huge, bigger than I have ever felt. I am really being hard on myself, I look at myself in the mirror and cringe at the sheer volume of space that my face takes up. I mean, there is only so much room in the universe and clearly, by being obese I am doubling my allocated quota. I don't know whether I am retaining an abnormal amount of fluid at the moment but I feel like the Staypuff Marshmallow Man. Where's Bill Murray when you need him?

Plan of Attack:

Drink heaps of water
Cut down on salt
No sugar in coffee

Baby steps aye?
Posted by Jules :: 9:19 am :: 10 Comments:

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