The Renovation of Jules

Tuesday, January 17

Thunder Thighs

There is nothing like running after 12 years to show you a true picture of how fucken big you have actually become.

Last night I completed the first C25K run. We (the family) set off towards the local school (the 5 minute brisk walk - warm up). I was excited, yet nervous about running for the first time in so long. I was worried about how my knee was going to hold up and, as I have not yet bought the running shoes, I was worried about how the substandard old runners were going to hold up. As we headed towards the field my hopes of a smooth start were dashed. There, in the middle of the field, was a family playing cricket. I said to Blair "well, that's it then, I won't be running in front of other people". He said "don't worry about it". "Fine for you to say, you aren't the morbidly obese one that has to shudder herself up and down the field in front of strangers!". In my mind I had convinced myself I wasn't going to do it. Then Blair challenged me in a way he rarely does.

"Well, you are defeated before you have even started!" and with that he jogged off down the field. I felt sick, I felt angry and I felt ashamed. Tears welled up in my eyes and I swallowed hard to try not to start howling right there. Peta was running around after Blair and Ben was biking around on his bike. Phoebe was in the pram sleeping and I thought "Fuck it". For once in my life I wasn't going to let 'self talk' keep me from getting on with it. No more half hearted excuses to stop me getting off my arse. So I sucked it in and stretched, grabbed Ben's Spiderman watch and headed for the little running lanes on the field. And off I went.

I ran 60 seconds, then walked for 90 seconds. Then I stuffed up and ran for 90 seconds - by the 80th second I nearly collapsed in a heap. Then I walked 90 seconds and ran 30 seconds (still trying to recover after the slip up before), then walked 90 ran 60 until I had done 20 minutes in total. I have to be honest, it was not easy. To make it a bit harder I have a chest cold. But, I proved to myself that I could do it. Blair was excellent. He did the whole thing with me, egging me on, supporting me, talking me through it. I did it but not without the pain of heaving each leg into the air for each step of the running sections. I felt like I was dragging a small African nation on the back of each thigh.

Having been a person who has run quite finely in my previous skinny life - this was really hard for me to accept. I expected to just run without realising that the extra 45kg I am carrying was enough to make this a severe struggle.

And tonight - I got on the exercycle and biked 5km.

Bring it on!!

Posted by Jules :: 9:47 pm :: 11 Comments: