The Renovation of Jules

Wednesday, June 29

Wednesday Weigh In - Week Four

Start Weight: 109.8kg
Current Weight: 107.4kg
Loss/Gain: +0.5kg
Kgs Lost: 2.4kg
Kgs to Goal: 42.4kg

Posted by Jules :: 8:07 pm :: 1 Comments:

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--------------------------------------- Wacky Wednesday

What a wacky old day today is turning out to be. No reason just a strange feeling. I am pretty damn sure that I am going to register a gain tonight (although having lost so much blood you think I would lose!!). I am prepared for it and just have to deal with it. Tomorrow tracking will resume with full force and I will be accountable again. I was lying in bed last night after watching "Ghost Hunt". Crazy programme with two presenters going walking through a haunted house at night in the dark with cameras on and hoping to find Ghosts. I actually was going to refuse to watch it as Caro from What Now was one of the presenters/ghost hunters. I just can't take a chic from What Now (children's TV programme) seriously. Anyway, I did watch it as they were walking through Larnach's Castle. Having been into this historic building on a number of occassions, I was intrigued that any sane person would walk around in it, in the middle of the night, in the dark, alone. The place is friggin freaky in the middle of the day with mates and plenty of lights. It was bloody freaky and it kept me lying awake (please remember I live next to a cemetery) for ages and this takes me back to what I was lying awake thinking about last night. (Tangenting!!).
I have been extremely negative lately. I know that things have been going abnormally wrong for our little family but, that is really no excuse to sit around lapping up the misery. I am the strength in this family and I need to sort it out. I need to be healthy in order to continue existing. I therefore need to just stop the "woe is me" attitude and pull finger out of anus and get sorted. I have only a couple of papers to finish so that I can sit my exams in November. Then I will be a qualified Naturopath. At the moment I am a mother and a qualified whine arse. So, I need to make a plan to get these papers finished and get some practical work into play so that I am confident in my 3 hour practical exam. I also need to exercise. Diet Diva has lost 15.8pds in two weeks and has exercised her heart out. It really is the key isn't it? You can eat healthy, drink heaps of water etc etc but if you don't exercise your butt off then your aerobic fitness will still be nil and you will not be that much healthier for it. So, out come the TaeBo videos. Hideous blisters and smog aside, walking is great. But, there can be no weather excuses or "I'm too scared of the exercyling in the sleepout next to the cemetery" excuses with TaeBo. Me and Billy can do it. We can kick some serious Gluteus Maximus. (With me the emphasis is definitely on Maximus). I have always wanted a seriously sexy butt. One day people, my butt will be hot. I am not really making much sense here with my ramblings, there is no particular order to them. They are helping spit the shit out of my head though, so bear with me.

Key point for today: there is only one person who can make me healthy and slim. No, not Billy, no not Oprah, no not Dr Phil. It is me. I am the only friggin person who can step up to the plate and bat my way out of the depressive situation that obesity is. So, after Chub Club weighin tonight, I am making a vow to track, keep within points and exercise. 5 times a week. Yes, you are hearing me right, there is no point in me starting off slowly. I, Jules, will exercise 5 times in the coming 7 days. I have never been one of these people that reach 100kg and can't exercise. I have always been able to manage a good hard out long walk or a gym workout or an exercycle at high intensity. Problem is, I just never stick to it for long. So I need to get the superglue out and stick like mad. My first challenge, if anyone can recall, was to lose at least 7kg by my mate's 30th birthday dinner on the 23rd July. As of last week I was not far off being half way there. But, tonight, we can all agree, that I will have slipped backwards. So, I will have a harder but achievable task ahead of me to still maintain this challenge.
I also need to start looking after my appearance. Something about being an at home Mum makes me just go to the pack. Who wants to come home from a long day at work and walk in the door to a woman with hairy legs, pits, eyebrows to match Vincent off Beauty and the Beast, grey uncut hair (last haircut was December 11th!!) and potchy skin. You know a man loves you, or maybe more correctly put - tolerates you, when he doesn't complain about this sort of thing.

Posted by Jules :: 10:57 am :: 2 Comments:

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Tuesday, June 28

Found

Some lovely young guy (about 15) found the phone on the road all run over and stuffed and took it home and his older brother somehow got it to go enough to get my cellphone number off it. The phone is stuffed but the sim card is fully intact!! So I will take it into Vodafone to figure out how to get the photos downloaded. There was also a wee video of Phoebe's first ever bath in the hospital. So we are stoked. That happened last night. Overnight I have bleed severely with what I thought was just my first period back after having Phoebe. Not so. I have gone through 10 overnight/maternity pads in less than 10 hours. Have just had internals, blood tests and a pregnancy test. I have been given a drug (Tranexamic Acid) to try and stop the bleeding and if that fails I will have to go into Women's for further testing. Dr thinks it may even be a side effect of the liver damage. Something to do with bleeding being related to the dysfunction of the liver. Who knows with me?? Dr took my blood pressure when I was there and it was 180/100 so I have had to go onto the new blood pressure medication. Enalapril Maleate. So here's hoping that everything pans out on the liver front now.

And what else happened? Locked the car/house keys inside just before I went to the doctor. Had to break a window in the back door to get in. Blair is thrilled with that but I literally had no other choice as we have no other key. The locks are stuffed so when we get keys cut they won't work in the old stuffed locks. So, upside is that the landlady has agreed to have all the locks done including the garage one!!

On the other front, you know, the reason that I actually have this journal. Eating has been terrible. Well, that's a bit of an overexaggeration, I haven't eaten terribly I just have not tracked at all. And, yesterday, when the bleeding was intensiving, I turned to Chocolate. Whittaker's Macadamia Nut Milk Chocolate to be exact. So, I am writing it off - this week that is. I will still weigh in etc but I am just putting it into the "bad week" basket.

Posted by Jules :: 12:48 pm :: 7 Comments:

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Friday, June 24

Gutted

We have had a horrible last 24hrs. Well, that could be being slightly overdramatic if put into context, but it seems horrible to us. When I went to pick Blair up from work yesterday I had a flat tyre. I have never had a flat tyre and, smugly, was only just thinking to myself 2 days ago how lucky I am to have not had one in my 15 years of driving. That'll teach me. I have, therefore, never changed a tyre. So, Blair got a lift home from work and changed the tyre for me and taught me how to do it shall the occasion rise again. When he lay down to put the jack under the car he had his $500 cellphone in his back pocket. So he took it out and put it on the roof of the car and lay back down. Everything progressed as expected. Once changed, I left to drop the tyre off at my brother-in-law's place (he is a manager of a large mechanical outfit) and pick up the kids. I drove very slowly as we have a Subaru Legacy (import) which doesn't have a normal spare tyre. No, it has a hideous space saver tyre and they are only a temporary, emergency little tyre that is no bigger than a small motorcycle tyre and you are not allowed to exceed 80km/hr in them. So anyway I went away and did my thing and when I got home Blair came rushing out and asked if I had taken the cellphone off of the roof of the car. Ummm, no, I didn't realise it was there. We searched and searched, by foot and car, for the blasted thing but haven't found it anywhere. Somebody will have spied it and thought, sweet - new phone!! All they will have to do is take out the Sim card, buy a new one and they have a brand new phone. Blair only brought it just before Phoebe was born. We are still paying it off!!! But that isn't the horrible part. As it was a really good camera phone, Blair took heaps of photos of Phoebe in her first hours in the world on it. And he hadn't sent them to our computer yet. So we have lost all the photos (at least 30) of her as a newborn. There were classic ones with Blair's fist near her head to show how tiny she was. The worst thing is Blair's reaction. It is like this has been the straw to break the camel's back, so to speak. It's like everthing that has gone wrong this year has all just hit him full force and it as if he has slipped into an instant depression. He won't hardly speak and his eyes just look lifeless. We have had our fair share of crap dished out this year and it is only halfway through. I just hope our family will survive as financial worries, on top of other worries are just a recipe for disaster.

On the eating front, things went fine yesterday but I have decided to omit the carrot, celery and parsley juice for the time being. Phoebe had such an upset tummy yesterday and that is the only dramatically different thing I ate.

Posted by Jules :: 9:53 am :: 4 Comments:

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Wednesday, June 22

Wednesday Weigh In - Week Three

Start Weight: 109.8kg
Current Weight: 106.9kg
Loss/Gain: -2.2kg
Kgs Lost: 2.9kg
Kgs to Goal: 41.9kg

Yes, it is official, the scales are crazy. I had a good week the week before and put on 600g and then had the seriously over the top 57.5 pt day and I lose 2.2kg!! Go figure.

Quick check in - start Liver Cleansing tomorrow. Not as full on as I would have liked. After doing all the prep and making up the menus and planning the shopping list - I actually priced up and nearly fell over. Unless you don't know - I have 3 children and no job. We have an income of $550 a week and our rent alone is $280. And we have $500 or so a fortnight worth of loans and hps. We are fully overextended. That's what an unexpected pregnancy can do to you. Result of all of this is that we can't afford a big grocery bill, and let's remember we have nappies to buy as well. So I can not afford all the liver cleansing stuff so have had to just go by the 12 principles instead:

1. Listen to your body - don't eat if you are not hungry. This applies even at meal times.
2. Drink at least 8 - 12 glasses of water daily - this helps to cleanse the liver and kidneys and aids with weightloss. Your body requires small and frequent sips of water, otherwise your cells shrink with dehydration and their membranes dry out.
3. Avoid eating large amounts of sugar - especially refined sugars, as the liver will convert this into fat.
4. Don't become obsessed with measuring calories - I actually am not going to listen to this one as I am still going to point everything and stick to my points allocation. Considering I am breastfeeding and not sticking to the nitty gritty of the diet, then I really need to still count points.
5. Avoid foods that you may be allergic to - or what you know from past experience upset you. a tip for those with weak digestion is to always begin each meal with something raw: ie raw fruit or raw salad. Always chew food slowly and thoroughly as digestion begins in the saliva. A small glass of water containing one teaspoon of apple cider vinegar can aid digestion.
6. Be aware of good intestinal hygiene - the liver must filter out and destroy any bacteria or viruses in our food. Only eat fresh food and try never to eat food that has been reheated.
7. Do not eat if you feel stressed or anxious - during these states the blood flow is directed away from the liver and intestines to other areas of the body. Eating at these times will lead to abdominal bloating and poor digestion.
8. Try to eat organic - will try but organics cost heaps so probably have to taper back on that one.
9. Obtain your protein from diverse sources (including legumes), not just from animal products such as meats, eggs and fish.
10. Choose your breads and spreads wisely - it is improtant to eat only good quality breads as they provide fibre, minerals and B vitamins. Nowadays most supermarket breads are made with mass production methods using ingredients like hydrogenated vegetable oils, potassium bromate, disodium dihydrogen diphosphate, monoacetyltartaric acid, azodicarbonamide and other aritficial chemicals that must be dealt with by your overworked liver. Also try hard to avoid margarine and butter as a spread on your breads. If you are trying to lose weight it will be an uphill and frustrating battle if you continue to use these spreads. If you must have a spread have fresh avocado, hommus or tahini.
11. Avoid constipation - by eating plenty of raw fruit and vegetables.
12. Avoid excessive saturated or damaged fats - these unhealthy fats can cause liver damage with changes occuring such as a "fatty"liver, similar to that seen in heavy alcohol consumption.

So, I will follow this, along with the dairy free and will also still have a carrot, celery and parsley juice ever morning, 15 mins after having consumed 2 large glasses of water with fresh lemon juice in it. This has the effect of kick starting the liver into action for the day.

I will also be using a thing called LSA to boost my protein. LSA stands for Linseed (flaxseed), Sunflower Seed and Almond. You make up a mixture of this ground down in a coffee grinder and it is devine on porridge, cereal and even sprinkled on salads. A huge source of Omega 3's.

So lets go!!

By the way, check out Diet Diva (she is linked on my links on the right). She has lost 10.2pds in her first week!! That is 4.63kgs!! You rock DD!!

Posted by Jules :: 8:39 pm :: 1 Comments:

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Tuesday, June 21

Preparing to Cleanse

Now, last time I attempted the Liver Cleansing Diet I got 2.5 weeks in and was hospitalized with a severe case of campylobacter. In the 2.5 weeks I lost around 5kg but, the most amazing effect that the LCD had on me was my overwhelming energy. That and how clear my skin became. All this in 2.5 weeks. I am not doing it for weight loss this time, although I know it will happen. I am doing it for the health aspect of it. So I have been eating a few treaty things, as you will note in my food diary, and making sure I don't go into it wishing there was one thing I had consumed before going on it. I think we will have pizza for tea tomorrow night (post weighin of course!!). More for Blair than me as he will miss the joy of pizza more than me. I love gourmet pizzas from the Wood Fired Pizza Kitchen in Papanui. (Blair prefers the good old Pizza Hutt variety). They do this great one with pieces of steak, red onion etc etc and topped off with sour cream. Yum Yum. Then again, I make a pretty damn good pizza myself and it involves Pita bread and veges, so we may just be able to have that on the LCD.

So today I am going to spend planning out our menus for the next two weeks. We get paid fortnightly so I have to plan what I need in the shopping. And - if you fail to plan, you plan to fail!!

So will update later today and let you know how the plans are going.

Posted by Jules :: 10:36 am :: 2 Comments:

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Monday, June 20

Dreaded Lurgy

I am sick!!
Peta, Ben and Phoebe are sick!! (Children)
Blair isn't sick (apparently because he is "hard").

I have had my whinge about the liver thing and am getting on with it. I know that the medical system isn't all shit and they are under extreme amounts of stress. I just want to clarify that my doctor was not the one to put me on this medication it was the specialist at Christchurch Women's.

My plan of attack is as follows:

I am going to do an 8 week Liver Cleansing Diet. During this time I will still stick to my weight watchers points as I need to make sure I have enough calorie intake for the Phoebmeister. The Liver Cleansing Diet (LCD) is basically eating a combination of whole foods with plenty of fruit and veges, herbs and lots of water and raw vege juices. Yum, I hear you shout. Also there is no dairy, which is fine as I have been dairy free anyway. No spreads etc and bread is all wholemeal. Chicken and eggs are allowed in the first and last 2 weeks and during the middle 4 fish and egg whites are the only animal protein allowed. There are plenty of protein options though, with hommus, nuts, seeds, etc.

I start on Thursday, after WW weighin on Wednesday night. I am still going to keep weighing in every week as I am a numbers girl.

So, you may notice there have been a few too many treat options in the last couple of days but, for sanity reasons, I need to be able to have a little bit of this and a little bit of that. Because, once I start this LCD it is very strict. It has had huge success with Liver damage and lowering of high blood pressure.

I just also wanted to say a big thankyou for all the supportive comments. I appreciate that you take the time to comment as I know time is precious for everyone.

Must go and blow my nose.

Thanks for listening :)

Posted by Jules :: 3:49 pm :: 0 Comments:

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Saturday, June 18

Trust

Caution: extreme language and opinions, do not continue if easily offended!!

Who do you trust?
Your parents, your partner/husband/wife?
Your kids?
Your doctor?
The hospital??
Well I sure as hell don't trust this last one. Now I don't want all you nurses etc attacking me for dogging the hospital system as this attack is warranted. All those who have followed my previous diary know that I had a few problems with my pregnancy. A quick recap: Blood pressure issues escalating at 30 weeks when admitted into antenatal wards at CWH. Upon admission was stuck on Methyldopa with no explanation of any side effects. Being naturopathically minded I did query the safety of the drug and was assured that it was fine. Started on 750mg a day and increased to 5oomg 4x daily. Kept in hospital for 8 days, during which my BP fluctuated extremely. At home on same dose of Methyldopa. (Please remember I am pregnant at this stage). At 38 weeks gestation, induced due to extremely high blood pressure and faintings. Beautiful baby Phoebe born at 9.39pm on April 6th, 2005. Blood pressure monitored postnatally and appears to be staying around same. Kept on methyldopa 500mg 3x daily after Dr phones drug information and finds that there are no other BP meds safe for breastfeeding. 6 weeks postnatal: liver function tests return abnormally high. Sent for further blood tests (hep a,b,c and glandular fever). All come back clear. Referral sent for ultrasound of liver - expected 6 week stand down time. Meanwhile second liver function bloods tested at 10 weeks postnatal. (By this time we have been on Methyldopa for 20 weeks!!). Results come back yesterday. Instead of dropping, liver enzymes have risen by 25% in a couple of weeks. Not what Dr expects of his preferred diagnosis of "Fatty Liver". Dr and I chat. I query whether medication could be having an effect. He thinks it shouldn't but will check up before he sends me to a gastro specialist. Dr phones back. Unfortunately Methyldopa does have KNOWN SIDE EFFECTS OF LIVER DAMAGE. Excuse fucken me!! Have I not been told that this shit is safe all along?? What the fuck is going on?? So I do a bit of researching of my own. Anyone in the medical field will know the value of the Merck Manual. It is a diagnostic reference book and also comes in online version. And this is a wee bit of what I found out. Methyldopa is well known to cause liver damage in certain people who are susceptible. Unfortunately, they have no way of telling who is going to be affected and who isn't. It is not related to dose and is completely unpredictable. So do you not think, that knowing this, it would not be used in pregnancy when your liver is under stress, especially if you have high blood pressure?? Don't be silly!! I then searched further:

....Analgesics and antipyretics that contain acetaminophen are a common cause of liver inflammation. If you use these over-the-counter medications, never increase the dose beyond what is recommended on the bottle. These medications can damage the liver when taken in doses that are not much greater than the therapeutic dose. If you drink heavily or regularly, you should completely avoid these medications or discuss safe doses with your physician.
Other problem drugs for the liver include the general anesthetic halothane, methyldopa, isoniazid (used for the treatment of tuberculosis), methotrexate, .....

I am pissed off by this stage and then look up Methyldopa fact sheet and discover this little ditty copied and pasted directly from Methyldopa fact sheet:

Nursing Mothers:
Methyldopa appears in breast milk. Therefore, caution should be exercised if methyldopa is given to a breast feeding mother.

and this on the 1999 fact sheet:

Use in pregnancy: Because, at this time, clinical experience and follow-up studies in pregnancy have been limited, methyldopa is not recommended for use in pregnant patients. Therefore, the usage of this medicine when pregnancy is present or suspected requires that the benefits be weighed against the possible hazards to the foetus.

I am livid with all of this crap. I have been on this shit for near on 5 months and, not once did anyone tell me about any of this. And they wonder why we are querying the DHB push for meningitis vaccinations when they haven't even been to third stage trials. If they don't give us all the facts then how the fuck can we be sure we are making informed decisions?? I am so angry. I am just hoping that the ultrasound of my liver doesn't show that there has been any permanent damage.

And most importantly, I hope that this has not crossed through milk or placenta to Phoebe. The hypersensitivity that makes someone susceptible to liver damage from drugs is more often than not: a genetic factor. I tell you what - heads will fucken roll if there is a problem.

And how have I handled this food wise:

Lets see, 57.5pts yesterday and 37.5pts today. Great - we have once again confirmed that I am an emotional eater.

Posted by Jules :: 10:34 pm :: 3 Comments:

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Thursday, June 16

Keeping Track

I have decided to follow Little Miss Sexy's lead and make a food diary to make sure that I stay on track. So - the link is to the right but will also link here: Food Diary

I have been so f-n excellent today that it is beyond belief. I have put everything that went into my mouth down on my tracker and even tracked the sugar/alcohol points. I have also cut down to 30 points a day.

Have to go, am watching McLeod's and I love it.

Posted by Jules :: 8:45 pm :: 1 Comments:

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--------------------------------------- Are You Normal??

You Are 65% Normal

(Really Normal)

Otherwise known as the normal amount of normal

You're like most people most of the time

But you've got those quirks that make you endearing

You're unique, yes... but not frighteningly so!

How Normal Are You?

Posted by Jules :: 1:08 pm :: 2 Comments:

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Wednesday, June 15

Wednesday Weighin - Week Two

Start Weight: 109.8kg
Current Weight: 109.1kg
Loss/Gain: +0.6kg
Kgs Lost: 0.7kg
Kgs to Goal: 44.1kg

Now - I am gutted!! Below is a photo (I ask forgiveness for subjecting you to an upclose of my hideous toes). It is of the enormous blister that I gained when I spontaneously decided to walk the 4.2km return trip to the kids school yesterday afternoon. I thought "Hey, if Blair can just exercise, well dammit, so can I!!" I enjoyed it minus the smog inhalation. So I set off with the pram and wearing shoes for the first time in nearly a year. I have had such big preggers feet that I have had to wear leather jandal type things. Anyho, off I went into the cold and I felt damn good. I set off at a great rate for someone who hasn't done anything physical for 10 months. Got halfway to the school in 10mins (1.1km) and felt great. Then I started to feel the onset of a blister but, I thought to myself: "If Dietgirl can go 5km without giving up then dammit, I can walk 4.2km without whining". It took me 24mins to walk the 2.1km to the school and, kids in tow, 32 mins to walk back home. So I did near on an hour exercise and felt like I was gonna lose a thousand kgs.

Anyway, I am gutted because I really pulled everything into line over the weekend and thought that I would have a really good loss. No such luck. I have even drunk more water in the past week than I have for ages. Now, I could whine and cry and say it just isn't fair. But, I am not going to. It is my own fault. Sure I have been good the last couple of days but, the first half of my weight watchers week (Thursday - Wednesday is my weight watchers week) was not good and it has come back to bite me in the arse. And to be fair I have included too many treats in my points allocation. I spoke to my awesome Leader, Belinda, after the meeting tonight and she suggested I really cut back on the goodies and make those 32 points count. So I need to track and I am going to do that every day. I will be accountable and you guys can keep me real.

So:

I will track publicly!!
My points won't be made up of treats and high sugar.
I will be honest and count everything that goes in my mouth.
I will lose weight next week.

By the way, I have included a photo of Phoebe, aged 10 weeks today, below as requested. It is only a pxt photo, so not great quality but shows you her big smile for the light shade.

Posted by Jules :: 8:00 pm :: 1 Comments:

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The light shade lover

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No pain, no gain??

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Tuesday, June 14

Perfecting Points

Have posted photos below of Peta and Ben but have no current ones available of Phoebe. All recent photos of her are on my sister's and my parent's digital cameras. Will have to get them to send me some. So don't despair I will let you see my precious wee light shade lover soon.

I am doing so damn fine even if I do say so myself. I have just kicked arse in the last two days as far as sticking to points. Exercise is still an issue, made even worse when Blair came home and decided he was gonna get healthy. He zipped out to the "cemetery sleepout" and did a workout on his weightbench. Barstard!! Why can he just do that?? For one, cos I was busy making dinner, feeding baby and listening to other kids reading books. I may have to pull the Billy Blanks videos out and get my butt Tae Boeing.

I have had butter today, which is against my dairy free thingy and also against my "lose weight" thingy. It was all part of my points and, I know it doesn't make a scrap of difference, but it was Lite. I was craving it!! I wanted it and I NEEDED it!! So I had it. I thought it was better to have some if I was craving it rather than not have it and then lose it in an uncontrolled manner later in the day and just "butter out". I thought I did quite well so any comments on how cool I am would be fine.

By the way, how many of you out there are lurkers?? I have had two comments on the last entry (thanks Kate and Karen) but nearly 50 visits!! Are there a lot of silent lurkers out there?? Don't be afraid to say hi - I don't bite or even lick!!

Posted by Jules :: 12:42 pm :: 2 Comments:

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Ben last year

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Peta on her 6th birthday

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Monday, June 13

On Clyde Dam with Peta and Ben, Jan 04 at 108.5kg

Posted by Jules :: 2:54 pm :: 0 Comments:

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--------------------------------------- When the Plan is Challenged

Now, we all realise that planning works for me - along with a big dose of accountability. So, latest question is: How do I manage when someone disrupts my plan??

Example:
Today had all the days points all planned out and only came in at 26.5pts which left me a couple up my sleeve for "unexpected occurences". I had a HUGE bowl of porridge and a piece of fruit bread for breakfast and was about to tuck into my morning tea (a Baked Oaty Apricot Chocolate Slice muesli bar and two mandarins) when an old mate turned up out of the blue. She came in full of yarns and we had a coffee (with no biscuits might I add!!) and I thought to myself, I'll wait until she goes and I'll have my morning tea then - no drama! But she stayed for nearly two hours!! By the time she left I was RAVENOUS and it was past lunchtime, let alone morning tea time! I was starving so quickly made my cup of soup and some toast with hommus on it. While the jug was boiling I stuffed down the Baked Oaty thingy and then I had a few crackers with hommus for good measure. Then a couple of weight watchers cookies. Brilliant thing is that I have pointed it all and, due to my having points up my sleeve, will still come in under budget. But (and a big but it is), I clearly showed that when thrown out of the plan I go to shit. I need some strategies for dealing with this as I obviously will have many plan detours. This is just life. Any tried and true tips would be much appreciated.

I am going to try and get a picture across of me at the same weight I am now. It is of me and the kids on Clyde Dam near Alexandra in Central Otago. Hopefully it works. I am new to the whole Hello, blogger, photos thing. The old diary-x site with geocities backup was basic and annoying but very user friendly.

Does anyone watch Lost? I love it. I loved Roswell too when it used to be on. Tonight is a sad episode of ER (when aren't they??) so I am going to get ready for having "ER eyes" tomorrow.

For any that are interested:

Phoebe is doing great. She is 10 weeks old in 2 days and is growing so much. She smiles all the time and her favourite thing in the house are the lightshades. For some reason she is obsessed with them. They get more smiles than the rest of us combined. Strange Child.

Posted by Jules :: 2:25 pm :: 2 Comments:

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Sunday, June 12

On Track

So Friday was shit as far as food went and I admit, acknowledge and own it and now I move on.

Saturday was excellent, stuck to my points and ate well making homemade pizzas on Pita bases. Made a really nice one with kumara, red onion, hommous and a sprinkling of crumbled up creamy blue cheese. It was divine!!! Even had a nice glass of Sav.

Today I had McDonalds for breakfast but kept it within points allocation. (let's all remember that I am on 32 breastfeeding points a day so it isn't too hard to slip in a McBreakfast). Had one of those Yoghurt Berry Crunch things for 4 points and really enjoyed it. Relished a Hot Chocolate with Marshmallows for only 1pt and had a Bacon & Egg McMuffin (5.5pts) and one hash brown (2.5pts). So all up 13 pts. Sounds huge but was a treat for the family and then I had a 3.5pt lunch having a small soy yoghurt, 1 apple, 1 mandarin and a huge stick of celery. And for tea we are having StirFry Beef with Vegetables and Hokkein Noodles. The recipe is on the back of the Campbell's Real Beef Stock 375ml pack. And is only 6pts for a serving (including the Noodles). So I will come in at 28pts for the day which means I can save the other 4pts to put back into the points bank as I am in "overdraft" from Friday's blowout!!

I never thought I would actually get into writing down what I eat online but I have found that writing down my Friday blowout helped me to be accountable for it and then get myself back on track on Saturday. As soon as I posted it I stopped bingeing. Had a healthy dinner that evening and pulled the reins in.

Now I just need to get into exercise mode.

I had an IUD put in on Friday morning (thanks for sharing I hear you cry). I was definitely into making sure that I couldn't get pregnant again. Not that I don't love the children I have but if I ever have to go through a hideous pregnancy like the last one again then I will never survive. I am still on blood pressure meds and now having liver tests. My ALT and AST's are up in my liver function tests and being a "just about" naturopath I definitely know that this isn't good. All the Hep's and Glandular Fever have been ruled out so now am going to have an ultrasound to check it out. What I am suspecting is that there will be a fatty liver on show and I will just have to eat so much more healthier. Last year I had raised fasting insulin levels as well so I am really on the fasttrack to Type 2 diabetes and death if I don't sort my shit out. But, this seems to be working for me so thanks for keeping me real people.

Posted by Jules :: 3:39 pm :: 1 Comments:

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--------------------------------------- For All My Favourite Mothers

Just a bit of a nice wee diddy for the mothers out there (and those with mothers) and everyone else who may just want to read it.

For all my favourite mothers....

This is for the mothers who have sat up all night with sick toddlers in their arms, wiping up barf laced with cherry Kool-Aid saying, "It's okay honey, Mommy's here."
Who have sat in rocking chairs for hours on end soothing crying babies who can't be comforted.
This is for all the mothers who show up at work with spit-up in their hair and milk stains on their blouses and diapers in their purse.For all the mothers who run carpools and make cookies and sew Halloween costumes. And all the mothers who DON'T.
This is for the mothers who gave birth to babies they'll never see. And the mothers who took those babies and gave them homes.
This is for the mothers whose priceless art collections are hanging on their refrigerator doors.And for all the mothers who froze their buns on metal bleachers at football or soccer games instead of watching from the warmth of their cars, so that when their kids asked, "Did you see me, Mom?" they could say, "Of course, I wouldn't have missed it for the world," and mean it.
This is for all the mothers who yell at their kids in the grocery store and swat them in despair when they stomp their feet and scream for ice cream before dinner. And for all the mothers who count to 10 instead, but realize how child abuse happens.
This is for all the mothers who sat down with their children and explained all about making babies. And for all the (grand)mothers who wanted to, but just couldn't find the words.
This is for all the mothers who go hungry, so their children can eat.
For all the mothers who read "Goodnight, Moon" twice a night for a year. And then read it again. "Just one more time."
This is for all the mothers who taught their children to tie their shoelaces before they started school. And for all the mothers who opted for Velcro instead.
This is for all the mothers who teach their sons to cook and their daughters to sink a jump shot.This is for every mother whose head turns automatically when a little voice calls "Mom?" in a crowd, even though they know their own offspring are at home -- or even away at college.
This is for all the mothers who sent their kids to school with stomach aches assuring them they'd be just FINE once they got there, only to get calls from the school nurse an hour later asking them to please pick them up. Right away.
This is for mothers whose children have gone astray, who can't find the words to reach them.This is for all the step-mothers who raised another woman's child or children, and gave their time, attention, and love...sometimes totally unappreciated!
For all the mothers who bite their lips until they bleed when their 14 year olds dye their hair green.For all the mothers of the victims of recent school shootings, and the mothers of those who did the shooting.
For the mothers of the survivors, and the mothers who sat in front of their TVs in horror, hugging their child who just came home from school, safely.
This is for all the mothers who taught their children to be peaceful, and now pray they come home safely from a war.What makes a good Mother anyway?Is it patience?Compassion?Broad hips?The ability to nurse a baby, cook dinner, and sew a button on a shirt, all at the same time?Or is it in her heart?
Is it the ache you feel when you watch your son or daughter disappear down the street, walking to school alone for the very first time?
The jolt that takes you from sleep to dread, from bed to crib at 2 am to put your hand on the back of a sleeping baby?
The panic, years later, that comes again at 2 A.M. when you just want to hear their key in the door and know they are safe again in your home?Or the need to flee from wherever you are and hug your child when you hear news of a fire, a car accident, a child dying?
The emotions of motherhood are universal and so our thoughts are for young mothers stumbling through diaper changes and sleep deprivation...And mature mothers learning to let go.For working mothers and stay-at-home mothers.Single mothers and married mothers.Mothers with money, mothers without.
This is for you all.For all of us.
Hang in there.In the end we can only do the best we can and tell them every day that we love them.

Posted by Jules :: 3:04 pm :: 2 Comments:

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Friday, June 10

Why??

Why do I do it?? Blair goes out for the evening so I eat like a gimp!! There is no logical explanation for this behaviour. I am not even hungry, I am just eating out of boredom. It started late afternoon when I began mindlessly chomping on SquigglePops and then, after dropping Blair at the pub, detoured back to KFC. Ben (5 yr old son) even said "Let's get Subway Mum cos it's fresh!" (kids really are an advertiser's dream). "No son, we can't get Subway because then I would have to get out of the car in the cold". (So!! Then you would have burnt a couple of calories shivering!). Went through the KFC drivethru and got a Zinger Works burger combo. The one blessing is that I didn't upsize. I looked at the lo-fat burgers but then justified bypassing them by saying to myself "if you are going to be bad and have KFC you may as well eat the good stuff".

Then I feel guilty today about it and decide to just keep the chompfest going and have so far eaten today:

1 bowl Hubbards Bran & Apricot 1.5pts
Soy Milk (lite) 0.5pts
Decaf coffee with vanilla soy milk 1pt
1 pce toast 1.5pts
w: lite butter & marmite 1pt
1 Mother Earth Baked Oaty Slice Apricot/Choc 4pts
1 300ml glass Chocolate So Good Soy Milk 4pts
Handful Soho Roast Chicken Rice Crackers 1.5pts
1 Squigglepop 2pts
6 gingernuts 6pts
4 WW choc chip cookies 2pts
4 pieces white bread 6pts
w: corned beef, mayo 4pts
w: lite peanut butter 1pt
1 apple 1pt
1 Mother Earth Banana Choc Bar Mini 2pts

Total points so far for day at 2.40pm!!: 39pts

Allocation for day: 32pts

Over pts budget: 7pts

And all without even having dinner. As you can see I have just grazed the whole day away. I need to get a container and put a padlock on it and give Blair the key. In it I will place all the biscuits, muesli bars etc. He can give me the allocation for kids lunches and that will be it. Suzanne Prentice did this and it worked for her so why not for me?? I have to do something as I am just boredom grazing. It's not like I don't have stuff to do.

As for the "porridge makes you full, I feel like a dick" saga. I know I am not a dick and I know everyone is there to support each other but I actually have a social phobia that makes me think irrationally and I was more commenting on the fact that it reared it's ugly head. It is the first time in ages that I have let the voice in my head tell me that other people are thinking about or looking at me. Once in Burger Wisconsin, I thought a woman was laughing at me with her whole family. They weren't but my paranoia convinced me that they were. I have such low self esteem that I figure: why the f@*k wouldn't people want to laugh at this overweight porker with a lazy eyelid. Don't worry, it is under control!!

Posted by Jules :: 2:18 pm :: 1 Comments:

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Wednesday, June 8

Wednesday Weigh In - Week One

Start Weight: 109.8kg
Current Weight: 108.5kg
Loss/Gain: -1.3kg
Kgs Lost: 1.3kg
Kgs to Goal: 43.5kg

I am absolutely stoked that I lost this first week, even if it is only 1.3kg. I had Ben and Blair's birthday yesterday and just ate whatever I wanted. Not that I abused it but I didn't track - that's for sure. I am finding it quite hard to actually go to Weight Watchers by myself. I have had quite a serious social phobia in the past and always dealt with it by having a good dose of alcohol when going out. Always worked a treat but I can't really rock on up to WW's plonked now can I?? So I find myself sitting there at the meeting thinking "I wonder what the other people are thinking of me?" Do they all think I am a dick because I just said "porridge makes you feel full"? Actually I think I am a dick for saying that!! (At this very moment Blair is snoring on the couch and I feel like thrashing him for interupting my time!!).

Anyway, what am I going to do in the coming week to make a positive step towards a sexy, healthy new me?? I am going to eat breakfast every day and I am going to increase my water intake as it is substandard to say the least. I have a mini goal of the 23rd of July and I would love to have lost a stone by then. A stone is around 7kg so lets just say I want to get to 102kg by 23rd July. That would be the lightest I have been in 4 years. That would be awesome!!
Today I read the most amazing journal entry ever. I don't know how many of you read Dietgirl's ramblings but today's entry, Going for Gold, is just so inspirational and heart wrenching. It literally had me in tears and inspires me to have a goal and reach it and if I have even half the feeling of achievement that DG has had then it will be worth it. Make sure you read it if you have a chance.

Posted by Jules :: 9:37 pm :: 5 Comments:

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Monday, June 6

Two Days To Go

Two days to go until I weigh in at Chub Club for the first time in a while. Well, not counting the inaugural weigh in where I nearly died at my new fattest ever weight. Haven't had the best of first weeks as we are about the poorest we have ever been. But this coming week I will base our meals around the first week of the plan. Will just have to add 14 points to that menu. They say to add things like avocado to the salads etc. Have they seen the price of avocadoes?? Tomorrow is the birthday of both of the boys in my life. Blair will be 31 and Ben will be the big 5. He is so excited about starting school that I think he will just about burst in the morning. Also Angel's birthday tomorrow so a big happy birthday to you!! Today have been right on track with points but am finding the water business a right hassle. Just forget to drink it all. So will go and have a couple of glasses now. Will update on Wednesday night.

Posted by Jules :: 9:59 pm :: 2 Comments:

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Thursday, June 2

The Renovations Begin

Wednesday Weigh-In – Inaugural Week

Weight: 109.8kg Loss/Gain: n/a BMI: 40.4 Kgs to Goal: 44.8kg

Well, I have decided to rejoin weight watchers!! Got the courage up to go by myself last night and to weigh in at my highest non-pregnant weight. But, that's okay. I have taken the positive step that was needed to get off my butt and get going. The scariest thing?? Working out my BMI and finding out that I am considered extremely obese. Yes, that's right, not just obese - extremely obese. So lucky I got this extremely obese butt into gear and rejoined. Leader, Belinda, is extremely motivating and I am looking forward to my Wednesday night weigh-ins. So, will be going to weigh-in on a Wednesday night and will post when I get home. I am on the lactation programme and actually have to have 32 points a day to start with. This just seems extreme but will see how we go. I already have a mini goal - July 22nd. My mates 30th birthday - dinner and cocktails in town with a theme of Sex in the City. Of course everyone else is skinny so this is going to be fun for me to try and find something sexy to wear.

I have 7 weeks and want to lose 7kg which is one stone, give or take an ounce!!

The reason I decided to change journal/blogs is to give myself a fresh new start. None of the other baggage with me. And, the reason I decided to name it "The Renovation of Jules" is because that is what I want. I want to be like one of those DIY programmes where they go in with sledgehammers, dung out the old shitheap and on the other side emerges a modern, funky place with all the mod cons. So that is me, gut me out and make me modern and funky. Weightloss DIY (with a little help from Weight Watchers instead of Mitre 10).

So come with me on the journey and watch me renovate!!

Posted by Jules :: 2:24 pm :: 2 Comments:

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