Friday, June 10

Why??

Why do I do it?? Blair goes out for the evening so I eat like a gimp!! There is no logical explanation for this behaviour. I am not even hungry, I am just eating out of boredom. It started late afternoon when I began mindlessly chomping on SquigglePops and then, after dropping Blair at the pub, detoured back to KFC. Ben (5 yr old son) even said "Let's get Subway Mum cos it's fresh!" (kids really are an advertiser's dream). "No son, we can't get Subway because then I would have to get out of the car in the cold". (So!! Then you would have burnt a couple of calories shivering!). Went through the KFC drivethru and got a Zinger Works burger combo. The one blessing is that I didn't upsize. I looked at the lo-fat burgers but then justified bypassing them by saying to myself "if you are going to be bad and have KFC you may as well eat the good stuff".

Then I feel guilty today about it and decide to just keep the chompfest going and have so far eaten today:

1 bowl Hubbards Bran & Apricot 1.5pts
Soy Milk (lite) 0.5pts
Decaf coffee with vanilla soy milk 1pt
1 pce toast 1.5pts
w: lite butter & marmite 1pt
1 Mother Earth Baked Oaty Slice Apricot/Choc 4pts
1 300ml glass Chocolate So Good Soy Milk 4pts
Handful Soho Roast Chicken Rice Crackers 1.5pts
1 Squigglepop 2pts
6 gingernuts 6pts
4 WW choc chip cookies 2pts
4 pieces white bread 6pts
w: corned beef, mayo 4pts
w: lite peanut butter 1pt
1 apple 1pt
1 Mother Earth Banana Choc Bar Mini 2pts

Total points so far for day at 2.40pm!!: 39pts

Allocation for day: 32pts

Over pts budget: 7pts

And all without even having dinner. As you can see I have just grazed the whole day away. I need to get a container and put a padlock on it and give Blair the key. In it I will place all the biscuits, muesli bars etc. He can give me the allocation for kids lunches and that will be it. Suzanne Prentice did this and it worked for her so why not for me?? I have to do something as I am just boredom grazing. It's not like I don't have stuff to do.

As for the "porridge makes you full, I feel like a dick" saga. I know I am not a dick and I know everyone is there to support each other but I actually have a social phobia that makes me think irrationally and I was more commenting on the fact that it reared it's ugly head. It is the first time in ages that I have let the voice in my head tell me that other people are thinking about or looking at me. Once in Burger Wisconsin, I thought a woman was laughing at me with her whole family. They weren't but my paranoia convinced me that they were. I have such low self esteem that I figure: why the f@*k wouldn't people want to laugh at this overweight porker with a lazy eyelid. Don't worry, it is under control!!
Posted by Jules :: 2:18 pm :: 1 Comments:

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